My name is Evan Ramsey. I was arrested February 19, 1997. I was 16 years old at the time of my arrest. I was sentenced to 198 years. I am currently 39 years old and have served 23 years of my sentence. I would be eligible to apply for parole in February of 2063 after serving 66 years of my sentence.
Initially there was a lot of fear, anxiety, and loneliness. Fear and anxiety mostly due to the unknown; the uncertainty of what to expect from the prison system, as well as from other prisoners. I was not sure how I should act, or how-to treat others. I had anxiety about doing and acting the “wrong” way.
I suffered loneliness due to being removed from life because of my crime, and because of getting myself placed in segregation (mostly because of disciplinary reasons).
In September 2004 my mother died. It was during the grieving process that I decided to change, and her loss allowed me the ability to understand how the families of the people I murdered must have felt. Her death had shown me what it meant to be remorseful. Her death allowed me to experience shame for the crime I committed, as well as have true remorse for what I had done.
During one of the last phone conversations I had with my mother, she had told me to be “good and be nice”. I had spent many years contemplating what she had told me; I had always thought that they were the same. At some point I realized that while they are similar in nature, they are far from the same. In short, it means to act with integrity. To be good is to behave. To be nice is to act in a sociable manner. Both are qualities of integrity.
At one point; While I was in segregation, I had an older fellow tell me “to learn through observation, not through experience”. I asked what he meant, to which he explained, and I have done a pretty good job at it. I have been write-up free for so long that I couldn't tell you how long ago the last write-up was.
In short, my vision for the future is that the last part of the Pledge of Allegiance be true and accurate: that there be Liberty and Justice for all.